Sexually Transmitted Infections - STIs
Communication is sexy
A friend of mine suggested writing about the ambiguity of language, especially when it comes to dating and sex.
His suggestion was undoubtedly a stab at my recent experiences and a way of telling me to let things go, but it's a
great topic, either way. One of the first things that comes to mind is The Family Guy episode in which Joe, the
paraplegic, brags that he and his wife, Bonnie just had sex. Bonnie then, clarifies, "We had what Joe calls sex."
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For some, "dating" implies a commitment, while for others, it simply means getting to know each other with the
intention of a romantic relationship. For some people, "sex" excludes oral activities and anal sex. All the more
reason to talk about STIs, safe sex and getting tested with your partner (committed or not). There are, of course,
a whole slew of other examples: "hook up," "casual relationship," "booty call," "love."
So, how do we sort through this mess of personal meaning? Communication. If you and your partner have an open
relationship or are still wondering if you're ready to commit to each other, it is so important to
talk about your boundaries and discuss what the words you're using to set those boundaries mean to you. If having a
sexual relationship with someone who is engaged in any kind of sexual contact with someone else bothers you, you
need to let the other person know that "dating" other people is fine, but that sexual contact makes you feel
uncomfortable. Or, perhaps you don't care what the other person does, as long as he or she is honest about it.
Establishing boundaries not only prevents misunderstandings, but also can save you some heartache (and maybe
medical bills) in the future. I am a firm believer that if you are sexually active with more than one person, you
need to be honest about it. And, yes, for me, oral sex counts! STIs can be passed from person to person without vaginal or anal intercourse.
Viruses such as herpes and HPV can be passed via cunnilingus and
fellatio. And, sorry, guys, condoms do not protect against everything. Largest STD Dating Service - free STD ads, h. message boards, international search and instant
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I know, I know. "It's none of the other person's business, we're not committed."
It's a reasonable argument, but, if you're working toward a possible commitment with that person, honesty is
crucial. Also, wouldn't you want to know if the person who is gradually taking over your thoughts is involved with
other people (call it what you will)?
And, as an aside, lying with the intention of protecting someone's feelings is still lying. It is still an
ultimate form of disrespect. It does not make you nicer. Sometimes the honesty that comes with good
communication can sting, but it will hurt a lot less than the STIs in the long run. Signs Of Herpes
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